So, as you guys know, today is my birthday (thank you), and look what I was able to snag before the official release (my dad owns Nintendo, remember?): the Nintendo Switch Pro Controller.
Now, guys, don’t tell anyone I have this, or my dad will take away all of your games and make sure you never play any more, ever again. I’m. Not. Joking.
Pretty Average Package, Bro
The packaging is standard Nintendo red-and-white simplicity; in fact, their branding patterns are so ubiquitous that it is very easy to mistakenly buy one of the Power A-manufactured Enhanced Wireless Controller controllers, when what you really meant to buy was one of the Nintendo-manufactured Pro Controller controllers (heard from a friend. I mean it, it wasn’t me. Guys, I’m warning you…I’m on the phone with my dad right now.).
Feels Okay in My Hands, Bro
The shape and feel is also very on-brand for Nintendo, as this controller seems like a natural, logical progression from past iterations of the Pro Controller, beginning with the Classic Controller Pro for Nintendo Wii.
The Switch Pro controller retains the same basic shape and grip size as its older brother, or father, maybe (Daddy Pro-Pro? That’s what I call my dad), yet the other father-brother of the Nintendo Pro Controller family — the Wii U Pro Controller — reversed the positions of the Left Thumb Stick and the D-Pad, so that the Stick is now parallel to the face buttons (basically, it went from PlayStation to XBOX). This is a tricky issue for me, as I think each layout has its merits, but I won’t bore you with that here (not that you could possibly find anything I have to say boring).
My biggest complaint with the overall design involves to the +, -, Capture and Home buttons. They are small, slick and more-or-less flush with the system (all 4 buttons are nearly identical to the Capture button on the Joy-Cons), making for some unsatisfying tactile feedback. I even find that my brain takes an extra micro-second to process that the button has been pressed (I am very smart, dad said so–Um, excuse me? He heard what you said and he’s on his way to your house right now.)
No. I’m Not Comparing, Bro
Stick height finds a good middle ground compared to a few other controllers I own (I’m not allowed PlayStation): higher than the Pro A Enhanced Wireless, yet shorter than a standard XBOX controller, and much shorter than the girthy shafts present on the Power A Wired controller.
My main gripe with the sticks is the lack of friction; my ashy thumbs slip right off. This is due to the flat-topped design (with small rim), as opposed to the XBOX controller’s concave design. (As a side not, my dad said that Nintendo is working on a super-secret fix for the Joy-Con stick-drift problem. It’s so super-secret, in fact, that no will ever hear about it or even notice it.)
The face buttons are softer and much less sticky than the face buttons on either the Power A Enhanced or the Wired (how is the cheaper Wired a better controller than the Enhanced? I’M TELLING MY DAD AND YOU’RE GETTING FIRED,MISTER). However, as expected, they don’t hold a candle to the wildly expensive–yet wildly erection-inducing–XBOX Elite Series 2 Controller. I don’t even know why I’m bothering to compare the Elite Series 2 to any other controller, ever–it is just that good, even the D-Pad.
The D-Pad sees the greatest improvement from Power A to Nintendo. The Power A Enhanced D-Pad is honestly unplayable, as it is just so mushy and seemingly unresponsive. The Switch Pro Controller finds a nice sweet-spot between soft and click-y that feels great for both D-Pad movement in 2D games and the general menu navigation and quick pressing present in modern, 3D games.
The shoulder buttons are typical Nintendo not-very-good-ness, but they’re fine enough; they get the job done. Shoulder buttons don’t really matter with most JRPGs anyway, so it’s just kind of whatever. Again, the leap in quality from Power A to Nintendo is pretty great, just at a pretty great cost.
The bottom line is this: the Nintendo Switch Pro Controller is the best controller ever made…
…for the Nintendo Switch.
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